Nervous

I haven't gone for my ultrasound yet. Lauren's napping and I have 30 minutes before I have to leave. I can't believe how nervous I am! I just want to cry too since it's been a really emotional day for me. Of course I've been nauseous most of the day which has me wondering if it's a good sign or my body playing a cruel trick on me. I've been feeling down all day and can't stop thinking about the memories of Hailey associated with the clinic. I expect them to be a little behind so although my appointment is at 3:40 I'm thinking it'll be closer to 4:30 before I have it done. I'm going to take a water bottle with me and drink that while I'm waiting. I'll have to do a urine sample as well so hopefully my bladder will still be full from the excess water. Please please please don't let them be too far behind today. The wait is killing me. I've got my cell phone charging (the battery's been dead for nearly a week) and will take my doctor's phone number with me because by the time I get back home her office may be closed and I don't want to stress about having to call first thing Monday morning to try to get an appointment. Fingers crossed I won't need it but I'm just so unsure I want to be prepared. I'm doing my best to stay positive but it's so hard after all we've been through and lets face it we haven't had much happy news at ultrasounds. I'm trying to remind myself how shocked I was there was a heartbeat last time but then I think about how that didn't really matter because the heart stopped afterwards anyway. Better now then having to wait until 13 weeks to find out I guess. Right positive thoughts.......