Doctor's appointment

Well the doctor's appointment didn't go quite as well as I'd hoped. She went over all my history and decided to do an ultrasound. She warned me we may not be able to see the baby since I could be anywhere between 6 weeks 2 days and 7 weeks 2 days and they don't see the baby until 7 weeks but they couldn't even find my uterus. I do have a retroverted uterus which is what caused the problem with Lauren's ultrasound at 6 weeks (same thing, no baby and measured over a week behind with a transvaginal ultrasound) so that may be the issue. She even got another doctor to come in and see if they could find it.

My options at this point are to do an HCG today and then again on Thursday morning to make sure they're rising properly or go back for another ultrasound in a week and a half. I asked for both which after all we've been through she said was fine so I went and had my hcg done this afternoon and I'll find out the results tonight before bed. I made the appointment for next friday because that'll be nearly 2 weeks and I should be around 8 weeks if I'm only 6 right now. I can't be much later based on when I got my positive test. I'm doing ok emotionally. I didn't get my hopes up this time, it just sucks and the thought of going through another miscarriage and the physical pain associated isn't very appealing. At least if this fails we'll start the process of testing to find out what's happening to my pregnancies.

Now the other emotional aspect of this appointment today. It was the first time I've stepped foot in that maternity clinic since my 17 week appointment with Hailey. I was fine all day and started getting a little upset on the drive there but reminded myself that my thoughts of how it's going to be is always worse then the actually experience. I was fine in the waiting room, it wasn't until I was brought into the room and waiting for the doctor that it really hit me. The room I was sitting in was the room Dan first saw Hailey on the ultrasound at 8 weeks and the room next to me was the room that I saw Hailey with her hiccups at the 17 week appointment. I managed to calm myself down before the doctor came in but when she opened my chart (and commented on how large it was for 1 pregnancy) I told her it's because it was a complicated one and that the pregnancy in the file wasn't the child we had at home. That's when I started to cry. She was really nice, sweet and understanding which is why I think she's so willing and helpful with what's going on with this pregnancy.

I'll update Thursday afternoon after my second set of HCG's.