Depression?

Hcg levels were 7 yesterday. Anything under a 10 is considered negative so I can say with 100% certainty I am no longer pregnant and can try to move forward.

I know I've said this before but I'm really struggling with this miscarriage. Not sure if its the timing with Hailey's anniversary coming up or that I saw the heartbeat so the pregnancy seemed more real to me. Dan asked me last night how long I'd been feeling depressed. I never told him how I've been feeling but apparently it's becoming obvious to those around me. I've only come to realize it's more then just feeling sad and disappointed a couple days ago. I was contemplating going on anti depressants but the problem is that there's some research that suggests it increases risks of heart defects. We're already in a higher then normal risk category so there is no way I'll even consider it. I can't tell my gp how I'm feeling as I know she'll put me on the meds and we'll have to put ttcing on hold. I was actually on anti depressants but using them as anti anxiety meds up until we started trying for Hailey. I stopped taking them the day I stopped taking birth control as per my doctors advice. I've always wondered if this contributed to the defect. We got pregnant so quickly with her I worry it didn't have time to fully leave my body.

I just keep reminding myself that I won't always feel this way. It'll get better and in a year I'll look back and be in a happier place. Just have to get through the next few months.