Frustrating inlaw

I don't understand my husband's family, particularly his parents. I'm sure I've mentioned that Dan's twin brother is coming to visit in February for a few days and they're going to spend the time skiing different mountains. I'm completely expecting to be the third wheel and pretty much only see them for dinner and the drive to and from the airport. I'm ok with this. Dan so rarely sees his family that I want him to spend as much time as possible with them. Yesterday Dan was chatting online with his parents and mentioned to me that they were thinking about coming for a visit in February but they were worried about taking time away from Dan and his brother. I was confused by this because he's only out for about 4 days so I asked Dan how long his parents were thinking of coming to visit and he said 4 days...... they plan to spend the rest of the time in Canada nowhere near where we live with brother's wifes family. I find this REALLY frustrating and very confusing.

As a mother wouldn't you want to spend as much time as possible with your child no matter how old they are? Daniel is the only one not living near them (one brother and his wife still live at home while his twin and his wife live on the same property.) They all see each other every day. They did this last time too. They spent 3 weeks travelling around Canada and the US and never stopped by to see us. If this was my parents I'd be devastated and I know it really upsets Dan. He even suggested that they wait and come out after the baby is born. Now they aren't even thinking of stopping to see us and just going to visit Julie's family and then go somewhere in the US to ski. They asked Dan if we'd like them to stop by and he said yes, then they said yeah I don't think we will it's too expensive. YOU SPENT OVER $2000 EACH TO FLY OUT HERE AND YOU CAN'T SPEND ANOTHER $500 TO VISIT YOUR SON!! 4 years ago we visited them in Lake Tahoe and they'd rented a chalet for a week. They're not short on money and if they were wouldn't it make more sense to stay with us where you don't have to pay for a hotel and visit our local mountains they haven't skied on in 20 years? It's like Dan and I going to New Zealand or Sydney for 3 weeks and not coming to visit them because it would be an extra $500.

We bought our house 2 and a half years ago and Dan's younger brother and his wife are the only ones who've seen it. His parents have only been to visit once since Dan moved out here over 5 years ago. It's really sad that although they've been to North America more then we've been to Australia we've managed to visit them more then they've visited us. I just feel so bad for Dan. As much as he doesn't want to say it he misses his family. You can tell just how he was talking about his parents coming to visit, even if it was just for 4 days. It doesn't look like his parents will be out when the baby is born either but his younger brother and this wife have been talking about visiting.

This is why Dan limits what he tells me about his family. I get so frustrated and angry. Dan doesn't want me to but I'm thinking of writing an e-mail to his parents saying "I know you've talked to Dan about coming out to visit in February. Before you make your plans please think about how you'd feel if Dan and I made a trip to Darwin or New Zealand and didn't stop by to see you for the second time in 2 years. I know you'll make whatever decision you want but please consider Dan's feelings." I probably won't send it because I don't want to deal with the backlash I'm sure I'll get from his dad. I don't think I'll ever understand his family.