12 weeks?

Maybe it's just wishful thinking but I've started going off the only dates I know...... the day of my last period. Going off that date I'm 12 weeks today. I was a little concerned all day. My energy has increased quite a bit today, but I was good and waited until Dan got home from work to use the doppler. I've always told people only to use a doppler if you're able to handle not being able to find the heartbeat. There's so many reasons for not finding it and if I ever let anyone borrow it after I'm done I'll make them promise not to worry too much if this happens. It happened to us tonight! At 5:15 we tried to find the heartbeat and spent 10 minutes searching. Couldn't find it. I tried moving around hoping the baby would change positions and then decided to stop, have dinner and try again in an hour. If we still didn't find it I'd try again tomorrow and see what happens before worrying. Well after dinner we tried again and the funny thing is the first sound we heard when I turned it on was the heartbeat!! It just goes to show that sometimes it really just is positioning and who knows what else.

I had the ultrasound clinic call today to remind me of my appointment on Tuesday. It's been a while since I've had a "normal" ultrasound in a "normal" ultrasound clinic and never with Daniel there. I asked if it was ok for him to come in the room near the end and they said yes, the last 10 minutes of the appointment he's allowed in. I'm a little anxious about this appointment. This ultrasound clinic is the same place I had my 18 week ultrasound with Hailey. I associate this place with when my life changed forever. I wonder if this'll be one of those times where I think I'll act one way but really be ok. When I had the ultrasound late November in a different town I cried while waiting for her to call me in. I'm getting anxiety just thinking about walking into the building and I don't know how I'll react being back in that same waiting room and worse if they place me in the same exam room. I'm hoping they'll take pity on me and let Dan come in the whole time.

I work my first saturday in 2 months tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. We're only open a half day but it's busy all morning and we work with minimal staff. I also happen to be working at a lab where they're all lazy (or just REALLY slow) and I end up having to pick up the slack and work twice as hard. I always leave work on a Saturday and take a nap when I get home.  I'm going to head to bed soon. I'm not looking forward to getting up early tomorrow.