Back from scan.....

Well it's not good news. They did an internal scan (which is not fun by the way) and at first I got excited because I thought I could hear a little heart beat. The sonographer was training so there was the trainee and trainer in the room. I didn't really know what to look for but they kept the picture on this round dark circle which I'm assuming was the sac. After the trainee was done the trainer took over and had a go. She then asked me if I was sure about my dates. My reply was yes. She then ended the ultrasound and said they would go speak to a doctor and come back. I knew it wasn't good. I told my husband I was pretty sure it was an empty sac (blighted ovum.) The ultrasound tech came back and told me that there's a sac measuring 6 weeks. I would most likely miscarry, but the doctor suggested I come back in 10-14 days because sometimes it is just dates being off. She then said "but don't be surprised if you start bleeding before then" and walked out the room. LOVELY! I was so surprised with how blunt she was and the lack of compassion. I don't know if this was because of ending our last pregnancy, but we've never had such a lack of caring at the hospital before.

I don't know what to do right now. Part of me wants to be positive that it could still work out, but the more I think about the past couple weeks the more I know deep down it's over. Here's why....

1) I had a positive preg test at what I thought would be exactly 4 weeks. The line was very faint but going off the ultrasound I should've just conceived which I'm pretty sure means the test should've been negative.
2) I had an HCG done at what should've been 4 weeks +4 days and the levels were in the 400's which my doctor put at 4-5 weeks. Could my levels have been that high if I was really just 2 weeks + 4 days?
3) I don't feel pregnant. I've had no morning sickness and besides being more hungry and the positive tests I haven't had any other pregnancy symptoms.

I went to a walk in clinic when I got home and asked them to do an HCG level. He was a little bit more reasuring saying that the ranges vary so much for HCG that it might not mean the worst and if I'm 6 weeks sometimes there's not much baby to see on the ultrasound yet. This has given me a little bit more hope. Up until seeing the doctor I wasn't planning on going back for the ultrasound. I figured I'd just wait to miscarry. Now I'm contemplating going back. I'll make an appointment with my family doctor hopefully for Friday and see what she says. All I know is that I don't want to have a D&C unless absolutely necessary. I'd rather miscarry naturally. I think part of this is in hope that they are wrong and I'll be 15 weeks and feel the quickening. I feel like I'm going crazy and just don't know how to feel or act. I just wish I could crawl into a cave for a few months and be by myself. I was actually starting to get excited about this pregnancy. I was starting to believe it was possible to have a healthy baby.

I'll keep you updated when I know more.

It's a few hours later and my HCG level from this afternoon is already online! 9473 which would put me at 6-7 weeks. This doesn't help me with my confusion.