4/5 weeks

I've decided that I want and need to do these weekly updates. If this pregnancy doesn't work out then we'll go to the recurrent pregnancy loss clinic and I want to be armed with as much information as possible, also it's been driving me crazy trying to compare pregnancies and symptoms because I didn't write as much as I wish I did. So because I don't know my due date the earliest I may be is 5 weeks and the latest would be 4 weeks. So this post is my 4/5 week update.

How far along? 4/5 weeks
Baby's size?Poppyseed/Appleseed
Total weight gain:Starting pregnancy weight: 148.6lbs (yup, never did lose the 10lbs from the last pregnancy!)
Bellybutton:In
Stretchmarks:I never got rid of the stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity Clothes:Nope
Gender:Don't think we'll find out
Movement:None
Sleep:My sleeping's been ok. Lauren's pretty consistent lately at sleeping through the night. Now I wake up at least once sometimes twice a night to pee and do find I have a little harder time getting back to sleep.
Symptoms:Occasional nausea, cramping, peeing more often weird dreams and extreme tiredness. The nausea tends to come and go throughout the day. It's worse in the morning after I drink or eat and as well at night a few hours after I eat dinner. Have not thrown up yet, just this yucky feeling that sometimes sits in my throat.
Food Aversions:None
Food Cravings:None
Best Moments this week: Seeing the positive pregnancy test
What I miss:Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I am looking forward to:Doctors appointment in a few weeks.

As the last says I finally made a doctors appointment. I'm skipping going to see my family doctor and going straight to the maternity clinic. This is the same clinic my doctor and I had talked about me going to next time as they have an ultrasound machine. The appointment will happen sometime between between 6/7weeks and 2 days. Hopefully they'll be able to see something on the ultrasound but I know that I'll be sent for a dating one since we have no clue how far along I am. This will become more important when the time comes for an echo (if we get that far) and induction if I go overdue.

I'm not feeling too confident about this pregnancy. I've decided to take the negative approach and assume it won't work out but we all know that if this pregnancy gets farther I will naturally start to get attached and hopeful. I just can't see how my body would be ready to sustain a pregnancy 9-16 days after passing retained tissue but you never know, if it wasn't ready then would the egg implant?  I've got 2 months to worry and wonder so at this point I'm trying not to think about it and relax. This of course is hard to do when you get random bouts of cramping and nausea. It's like a constant reminder that I'm pregnant and the cramps always worry me that something's wrong but deep down I know they're common in pregnancy and I had them with Hailey and Lauren. I can't believe I'm going to say this but I really really REALLY hope I start throwing up soon! Both my sucessful pregnancies have involved morning sickness so I take that as a good sign. I know you can have no morning sickness and still have a healthy baby as well as have morning sickness with a missed miscarriage but I guess it's just a luck thing. In the past morning sickness with vomiting as signified a  healthy (sort of) pregnancy so I'm hoping and praying to see a lot of the toilet soon. I try to keep in the back of my mind that at least if this pregnancy doesn't work out we can move forward and maybe get some answers or help with the clinic.

After getting the faint positive lines on the cheap internet tests which I bought when I was ttc before the miscarriage I decided I needed to see the words so went and bought two clearblue tests that have the conception range. On Tuesday the results were 1-2 weeks which means 3-4. I tested again today and I'm happy to say the results were 2-3. That means at this point my hcg is rising. I know that doesn't mean much but it does give me a little comfort to know we're at least heading in the right direction.
Coming up on Hailey's birthday this weekend but that will be it's own post coming soon.