I had a bit of a shock this morning. I got up to go pee and the whole time I was willing the baby to move as I hadn't felt anything since I'd gone to bed at 1am and it was now 8am. When I wiped there was a brownish tinge and it really freaked me out that I was starting to bleed. Since then I've come to realize that I think it's my mucus plug. I told Dan about the lack of movement and he told he he'd felt the baby move at night and then less the 3 minutes later the baby moved and has been moving since.
I'm starting to freak out a little. I know losing your mucus plug doesn't mean labour will necessarily start any time soon but the nursery at the moment is a DISASTER. We'd gotten it all set up and then ordered carpet. The carpet arrived 2 weeks ago and they'd told us the underlay was on back order but should be here around the 30th. Dan wanted to put screws in the floor to stop the squeaking when you walk on it and he'd noticed they'd put the carpet over linoleum so he spent the Sunday 2 weeks ago taking the carpet and linoleum up and putting the screws into the plywood. At the moment there's nothing on the floor in the nursery, our bedroom is a mess as all the nursery furniture and baby stuff is in it and you have to watch where you walk. The crib is taken apart as it wouldn't fit out the room in one piece and the bassinet we were given needs a new mattress which I can't find ANYWHERE. It's so stupid, I can buy a new bassinet with a new mattress for $80 but I can't buy a new mattress on it's own. I've just phoned my mum as she wanted to get us the bassinet and told her I'd lost my mucus plug and was freaking out a little as if this baby does arrive soon we've got nowhere for it to sleep! She's going to get it now for me since she hates going to the shops in the afternoon when it's busy.
I don't want to get my hopes up. I'm currently 36+2 days so ideally it would be better for this baby not to come until the end of the week when I'm considered "full term" at 37 weeks, but I know the baby will be fine if it comes at the moment. The first thing my husband said to me when I told him about the mucus plug was "Of course..... your OB is on holidays this week!"
I'll write again if anything else happens.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Poems for Hailey
I was looking through the little scrapbook my mum made for Hailey and I'd forgotten the poems that were in there. They made me cry reading them and I thought I'd share.
The first is one my mum wrote for her.
Hailey
I held you close in my arms
You were so pure and sweet
You had your mummy's dimply chin
Your daddy's nose and feet.
Memories of you
Are locked inside my heart
Though we are not together
We are never far apart
We did not get to do the things
That grandma's and granddaughters do
Like playing dolls, shopping or
Visiting monkeys at the zoo
Shine bright in the sky my little star
And I will look for you
For one day we shall have
Our tea party for two
Love Grandma
I'm not sure where she got the other poem from:
Her Journey's Just Begun
Don't think of her as gone away-
her journey's just begun,
life holds to many facets-
this earth is only one.
Just think of her as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.
Think how she must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.
And think of her as living
in the hearts of those she touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost-
and she was loved so much.
Even just typing it out I'm crying again. I still miss her so much.
The first is one my mum wrote for her.
Hailey
I held you close in my arms
You were so pure and sweet
You had your mummy's dimply chin
Your daddy's nose and feet.
Memories of you
Are locked inside my heart
Though we are not together
We are never far apart
We did not get to do the things
That grandma's and granddaughters do
Like playing dolls, shopping or
Visiting monkeys at the zoo
Shine bright in the sky my little star
And I will look for you
For one day we shall have
Our tea party for two
Love Grandma
I'm not sure where she got the other poem from:
Her Journey's Just Begun
Don't think of her as gone away-
her journey's just begun,
life holds to many facets-
this earth is only one.
Just think of her as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.
Think how she must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.
And think of her as living
in the hearts of those she touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost-
and she was loved so much.
Even just typing it out I'm crying again. I still miss her so much.
35 weeks
How far along? 35 weeks
Baby's size? Honeydew
Total Weight Gain: I've stopped checking, it was making me too sad.
Bellybutton: Still in but it's getting closer. I've never been so creeped out by my belly button!
Stretchmarks: hips and stomach. Can't believe how fast they're coming!
Maternity Clothes: Yup but they're starting to fit less comfortably.
Gender: I caved! Not allowed to say though
Movement: Still moving a lot. I'm surprised as I thought there's supposed to be reduced movement as they run out of room. This one still acts like there's tons of room, which causes me pain.
Sleep: I'm not sleeping very well at the moment
Symptoms: just starting to get really tired now, crampy
Food Aversions: Nothing
Food Cravings: Cookies (always healthy things for me!)
Best Moments this week: Knowing that this week was the last week I'd see the baby until it's born.
What I miss: Not having to get up a few times at night to pee.
What I am Looking forward to: Holding this baby in my arms
I had an appointment with my OB on Wednesday and everything looks good. He felt my stomach to check the baby's position and turns to me and says "Wow that baby's really far down there!" I haven't been getting too much pressure but every once and a while it feels like this baby is going to fall out of me. I've always had a feeling this baby's going to come early. I'm not sure if it's wishful thinking of intuition (hopefully the second!) On the other hand I also feel like with my luck and because we've done all these ultrasound incase I go into early labour that I'll end up going overdue and have to be induced. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Tomorrow is 1 month until me due date! I can't believe it's 30 days away. Where has the time gone?
I'm now glad I've never told anyone in my family I know the sex of the baby. My cousin who's due a week before didn't want anyone to know as her husband wanted to be surprised so her mum went with her to find out the sex. They've managed to keep it a secret for most of the pregnancy but it just makes me realize how no one in my family can keep a secret! Last wednesday I went over to my grandma's as my aunt is out from Poland and I was talking about the baby and the names we've chosen and I mentioned how I wished I knew what my cousin was having. Well then my aunt said she knew (what really annoyed me was the tone she said it) anyway then my grandma said she's known for a couple weeks. I asked them what it was and they said they weren't going to tell me because they didn't want me to know. I asked them if my mum knew and they said no. I went for a walk with my mum later and vented. It didn't bother me that I didn't know the sex what bothered me was why even say you know and rub it in? It also made me feel a little sad because at that point I pretty much guessed they were having a girl and they didn't want me to know or be upset since besides Hailey there's only 1 other girl in the family and 5 boys. Then my mum told me that since the secret was out and people were starting to find out she's actually known since the day they found out. Apparently my aunt phoned my mum and told her but no one knows that she knows so she told me. Then on Saturday we took my dad our for dinner for father's day and on the way home my sister tried to get out of my husband what the sex is and said that she can keep a secret. She's known the sex of the baby since the day they found out too. I then told her that it wasn't a secret anymore that a lot of people knew and it's just so confusing who does and doesn't know and that my cousin still thinks no one but my aunt, sister and her husband know. So here's how it works out.
My cousin told my sister but no one knows except me that she knows.
My aunt told my mum who told me but no one knows that either of us know except my sister.
My aunt then told my grandma and my other aunt who told me and my mum that they know but my cousin doesn't know they know.
I think that's it? I really have no idea though as we have quite a large family. They are coming out next weekend for a surprise 60th birthday party for my aunt at our place and I have a feeling it's all going to come out. My mum seems to think that my aunt from Poland will say that she knows. It should be an interesting weekend!
Baby's size? Honeydew
Total Weight Gain: I've stopped checking, it was making me too sad.
Bellybutton: Still in but it's getting closer. I've never been so creeped out by my belly button!
Stretchmarks: hips and stomach. Can't believe how fast they're coming!
Maternity Clothes: Yup but they're starting to fit less comfortably.
Gender: I caved! Not allowed to say though
Movement: Still moving a lot. I'm surprised as I thought there's supposed to be reduced movement as they run out of room. This one still acts like there's tons of room, which causes me pain.
Sleep: I'm not sleeping very well at the moment
Symptoms: just starting to get really tired now, crampy
Food Aversions: Nothing
Food Cravings: Cookies (always healthy things for me!)
Best Moments this week: Knowing that this week was the last week I'd see the baby until it's born.
What I miss: Not having to get up a few times at night to pee.
What I am Looking forward to: Holding this baby in my arms
I had an appointment with my OB on Wednesday and everything looks good. He felt my stomach to check the baby's position and turns to me and says "Wow that baby's really far down there!" I haven't been getting too much pressure but every once and a while it feels like this baby is going to fall out of me. I've always had a feeling this baby's going to come early. I'm not sure if it's wishful thinking of intuition (hopefully the second!) On the other hand I also feel like with my luck and because we've done all these ultrasound incase I go into early labour that I'll end up going overdue and have to be induced. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Tomorrow is 1 month until me due date! I can't believe it's 30 days away. Where has the time gone?
I'm now glad I've never told anyone in my family I know the sex of the baby. My cousin who's due a week before didn't want anyone to know as her husband wanted to be surprised so her mum went with her to find out the sex. They've managed to keep it a secret for most of the pregnancy but it just makes me realize how no one in my family can keep a secret! Last wednesday I went over to my grandma's as my aunt is out from Poland and I was talking about the baby and the names we've chosen and I mentioned how I wished I knew what my cousin was having. Well then my aunt said she knew (what really annoyed me was the tone she said it) anyway then my grandma said she's known for a couple weeks. I asked them what it was and they said they weren't going to tell me because they didn't want me to know. I asked them if my mum knew and they said no. I went for a walk with my mum later and vented. It didn't bother me that I didn't know the sex what bothered me was why even say you know and rub it in? It also made me feel a little sad because at that point I pretty much guessed they were having a girl and they didn't want me to know or be upset since besides Hailey there's only 1 other girl in the family and 5 boys. Then my mum told me that since the secret was out and people were starting to find out she's actually known since the day they found out. Apparently my aunt phoned my mum and told her but no one knows that she knows so she told me. Then on Saturday we took my dad our for dinner for father's day and on the way home my sister tried to get out of my husband what the sex is and said that she can keep a secret. She's known the sex of the baby since the day they found out too. I then told her that it wasn't a secret anymore that a lot of people knew and it's just so confusing who does and doesn't know and that my cousin still thinks no one but my aunt, sister and her husband know. So here's how it works out.
My cousin told my sister but no one knows except me that she knows.
My aunt told my mum who told me but no one knows that either of us know except my sister.
My aunt then told my grandma and my other aunt who told me and my mum that they know but my cousin doesn't know they know.
I think that's it? I really have no idea though as we have quite a large family. They are coming out next weekend for a surprise 60th birthday party for my aunt at our place and I have a feeling it's all going to come out. My mum seems to think that my aunt from Poland will say that she knows. It should be an interesting weekend!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Sad
I should start off by saying that the baby is fine. I had my last ultrasound this afternoon. Everything looks good and I can't believe that next time I see the baby will be after I've given birth!
Now for the main reason. I've always been so proud of being Canadian and the city I'm from. When I was living in England and someone would ask me where I'm from I would answer with pride. NOT today. Today I am sad and embarrassed to say my home town is Vancouver.
Vancouver is normally on the list as one of the best and most beautiful cities to live in. I've always agreed with this (having not lived in many other cities or countries my opinion may be a little biased.) I was proud of how well the Olympics went last year and the atmosphere was amazing. Then there was last night. It's probably cliche but hockey is a big part of our lives in Vancouver. We love our team and have waited for the Stanley cup for 40 years. In those 40 years they've only made it to the playoff finals twice. Once in 1994 and this year. Both years went to a final game 7. In 1994 they lost and Vancouver had it's first (I may be wrong on this but as far as I'm aware it was their first) riot. The game itself wasn't in Vancouver, it was in New York but a large group of people managed to cause a large amount of damage. I was young at the time and only remember a little bit that I was allowed to see on the news. Still I was taught and knew what had happened was wrong. 17 years later and the Canucks are in the finals again. After hosting the Olympics last year and having had large numbers of crowds with no major issues the city thought people were smarter. For the first 6 games in the finals everything went well. There were a few arrests and tons of liquor pour outs but no one was hurt and everyone went home after the games were over (no matter how horribly we lost a few of those games.)
Last night the game was disappointing. It was a terrible game and didn't look at all like they were playing for the cup. However disappointed I was in the game quickly turned to disappointment in people. No one cares about the hockey game anymore. Instead last night will now be remember as the second time Vancouver has had a riot over a HOCKEY GAME. As exciting as it would've been to be there and watch it with thousands of people being pregnant there was no way I would go anywhere near that big of a crowd no matter how peaceful the situation was. Also no matter how much you hoped history wouldn't repeat itself (and I'm not talking about the hockey game) we all knew how quickly the situation could change. I honestly believe that the riot would've happened wether they won or lost. The game was just an excuse. Those people that started it are not canuck fans. They went there to start trouble. In saying that those that participated were. It would be wishful thinking to say that those in the riot weren't canuck fans or from Vancouver because they were. They may not have been the ones that started it but they contributed and that's all that really matters in my eyes. It made me sad to see our beautiful city being destroyed. It made me sad and angry to know that all that damage and the cost of the clean up will be paid for in part by me. My taxes are going toward replacing those police cars, all the overtime and the cost of the clean up. I'm angry because these people were idiots and damaged their own town.
I promise to raise this child and any other children I have to respect other people and property. I'm ashamed and embarrassed about what happened last night and I hate how Vancouver now looks to the rest of the world. What I am proud of is the amazing job of the police, fire and ambulance service last night. I'm also proud that there were people out this morning helping the clean up crews. These people are what Vancouver and Canada are about. Unfortunately they aren't going to be what's remember.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
34 weeks
How far along? 34 weeks
Baby's size? Honeydew
Total Weight Gain: I've stopped checking, it was making me too sad.
Bellybutton: Still in but it's getting closer. I've never been so creeped out by my belly button!
Stretchmarks: Hips and lower stomach
Maternity Clothes: Yup but they're starting to fit less comfortably.
Gender: I caved! Not allowed to say though
Movement: The baby gets the hiccups at least a few times a day now. It's so strong you can see my stomach move from them. Also the baby has found a really uncomfortable spot to rest it's foot.
Sleep: Some nights I sleep really well others I hardly sleep at all.
Symptoms: just starting to get really tired now
Food Aversions: Nothing
Food Cravings: Candy again
Best Moments this week: Watching my belly move for 20 minutes while on my lunch break :)
What I miss: being able to breath properly. I'm hoping once the baby drops I'll be able to get more air in my lungs
What I am Looking forward to: My last ultrasound is this week. I'll be sad not to see the baby again until it's born.
It's been an exciting and interesting week. I ordered cloth diapers last weekend and they arrived Thursday. I was so excited to see them and I can't wait to get the baby wearing them. I don't know anyone who's used cloth diapers so I've been doing a lot of research. I only ordered 12 of the same brand and will be ordering more soon. I'm going to get a different brand to compare them. When I first told my mum I was planning on using cloth diapers she wasn't too thrilled and told me she'd keep a supply of disposables at her place for when the baby is there. When they arrived this week I brought them over and showed her, I also told her about the wet bag and that we mine as well use cloth wipes if we're doing diapers. She's now on board which I'm really happy about. Will have to "train" her on how to use them and put them in the bag so it's easier to clean.
I applied for a job within the company a few weeks ago. I've written about applying for one 6 months ago. It's the same job as the person who did get it is now moving away. I was wondering if I should apply or not but figured since it's a permanent job and not a temporary, as well as being in the area I want to eventually get into I couldn't turn down the chance. So I applied thinking if I was the right person for the job they would hire me and then get a replacement for my maternity leave (like they'd do if I'd gotten pregnant just after starting the job.) Well I got a call at work on Thursday to set up a time for an interview and it was supposed to be for Monday morning. Then she called again on Friday and said she'd noticed that I was going off in 5 weeks and was wondering what my plans were (was I planning on working through the mat leave as the position is only for Fridays and if the regulars call in sick.) I said no I was planning on taking the full year off. She then said "Well you realize we need someone now so it seem kind of pointless to train you when you'll be going off and then have to train someone else." I said yeah I realize it's not an ideal situation and I contemplated even applying but what it came down to was that this is the area I really want to get into and I couldn't turn down the chance. She then said that of course they couldn't stop me from applying because I'm pregnant (and I bit my tongue as I was REALLY close to correcting her and saying "no, actually you can't not give me the job because I'm pregnant.") She then continued with saying that since I'd just had an interview for it and that nothing had probably changed there wasn't a point in me going in for another interview and she would talk to the main HR person and they may just do a phone interview instead.
I'm so disappointed. There's no point in even having an interview now. She's basically said there's no way I'll get the job because I'm going off on maternity leave in 5 weeks. I am however interested on where they decide to go with this as legally they can't discriminate against me due to being pregnant and clearly at the moment they have by cancelling my interview and telling me that there's no point in giving me this position because I'm going off.
It's funny because I never actually expected to get the job. I figured they'll probably give it to someone who's in the manager program (like they did last time) to give them the experience of working with that computer system. I also assumed my pregnancy would play a part in the reason I wouldn't get the job but I never expected them to actually imply this.
Baby's size? Honeydew
Total Weight Gain: I've stopped checking, it was making me too sad.
Bellybutton: Still in but it's getting closer. I've never been so creeped out by my belly button!
Stretchmarks: Hips and lower stomach
Maternity Clothes: Yup but they're starting to fit less comfortably.
Gender: I caved! Not allowed to say though
Movement: The baby gets the hiccups at least a few times a day now. It's so strong you can see my stomach move from them. Also the baby has found a really uncomfortable spot to rest it's foot.
Sleep: Some nights I sleep really well others I hardly sleep at all.
Symptoms: just starting to get really tired now
Food Aversions: Nothing
Food Cravings: Candy again
Best Moments this week: Watching my belly move for 20 minutes while on my lunch break :)
What I miss: being able to breath properly. I'm hoping once the baby drops I'll be able to get more air in my lungs
What I am Looking forward to: My last ultrasound is this week. I'll be sad not to see the baby again until it's born.
It's been an exciting and interesting week. I ordered cloth diapers last weekend and they arrived Thursday. I was so excited to see them and I can't wait to get the baby wearing them. I don't know anyone who's used cloth diapers so I've been doing a lot of research. I only ordered 12 of the same brand and will be ordering more soon. I'm going to get a different brand to compare them. When I first told my mum I was planning on using cloth diapers she wasn't too thrilled and told me she'd keep a supply of disposables at her place for when the baby is there. When they arrived this week I brought them over and showed her, I also told her about the wet bag and that we mine as well use cloth wipes if we're doing diapers. She's now on board which I'm really happy about. Will have to "train" her on how to use them and put them in the bag so it's easier to clean.
I applied for a job within the company a few weeks ago. I've written about applying for one 6 months ago. It's the same job as the person who did get it is now moving away. I was wondering if I should apply or not but figured since it's a permanent job and not a temporary, as well as being in the area I want to eventually get into I couldn't turn down the chance. So I applied thinking if I was the right person for the job they would hire me and then get a replacement for my maternity leave (like they'd do if I'd gotten pregnant just after starting the job.) Well I got a call at work on Thursday to set up a time for an interview and it was supposed to be for Monday morning. Then she called again on Friday and said she'd noticed that I was going off in 5 weeks and was wondering what my plans were (was I planning on working through the mat leave as the position is only for Fridays and if the regulars call in sick.) I said no I was planning on taking the full year off. She then said "Well you realize we need someone now so it seem kind of pointless to train you when you'll be going off and then have to train someone else." I said yeah I realize it's not an ideal situation and I contemplated even applying but what it came down to was that this is the area I really want to get into and I couldn't turn down the chance. She then said that of course they couldn't stop me from applying because I'm pregnant (and I bit my tongue as I was REALLY close to correcting her and saying "no, actually you can't not give me the job because I'm pregnant.") She then continued with saying that since I'd just had an interview for it and that nothing had probably changed there wasn't a point in me going in for another interview and she would talk to the main HR person and they may just do a phone interview instead.
I'm so disappointed. There's no point in even having an interview now. She's basically said there's no way I'll get the job because I'm going off on maternity leave in 5 weeks. I am however interested on where they decide to go with this as legally they can't discriminate against me due to being pregnant and clearly at the moment they have by cancelling my interview and telling me that there's no point in giving me this position because I'm going off.
It's funny because I never actually expected to get the job. I figured they'll probably give it to someone who's in the manager program (like they did last time) to give them the experience of working with that computer system. I also assumed my pregnancy would play a part in the reason I wouldn't get the job but I never expected them to actually imply this.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
33 weeks
How far along? 33 weeks
Baby's size? Honeydew
Total Weight Gain: I've stopped checking, it was making me too sad.
Bellybutton: Still in but it's getting closer. I've never been so creeped out by my belly button!
Stretchmarks: Hips and lower stomach
Maternity Clothes: Yup but they're starting to fit less comfortably.
Gender: I caved! Not allowed to say though
Movement: The baby gets the hiccups at least a few times a day now. It's so strong you can see my stomach move from them. Also the baby has found a really uncomfortable spot to rest it's foot.
Sleep: It's been getting warm lately so Dan and I moved downstairs but the bed made our backs hurt last night. We'll have to see what we end up doing.
Symptoms: nausea has started to come back
Food Aversions: Nothing
Food Cravings: Candy again
Best Moments this week: lying on the couch with my mum so she could feel the baby move.
What I miss: being able to breath properly. I'm hoping once the baby drops I'll be able to get more air in my lungs
What I am Looking forward to: My aunt comes to visit from Poland on Sunday! She teaches at an international school there.
I'm a little sad to say I now have only 1 ultrasound left. When I went on Thursday she told me that the head is still measuring a week behind but the baby's legs are longer then normal. So it looks like this baby will have a small head (that comes from me) and long legs (that would be from Dan's side.) We've pretty much got everything we need for the baby. Picked up a few miscellaneous things like burp cloths and washable cloth diaper inserts. We're going to try cloth diapers. My mum went a little crazy while I was pregnant with Hailey and stocked up on newborn diapers when they came on sale. We've got a few packs of different sizes of disposable ones so we'll probably end up mixing and using both depending on where we're going that day. We've yet to buy any cloth diapers but since we're waiting until the baby's born to really do clothes shopping and we've got a ton of disposables we'll get them a little later on.
Baby's size? Honeydew
Total Weight Gain: I've stopped checking, it was making me too sad.
Bellybutton: Still in but it's getting closer. I've never been so creeped out by my belly button!
Stretchmarks: Hips and lower stomach
Maternity Clothes: Yup but they're starting to fit less comfortably.
Gender: I caved! Not allowed to say though
Movement: The baby gets the hiccups at least a few times a day now. It's so strong you can see my stomach move from them. Also the baby has found a really uncomfortable spot to rest it's foot.
Sleep: It's been getting warm lately so Dan and I moved downstairs but the bed made our backs hurt last night. We'll have to see what we end up doing.
Symptoms: nausea has started to come back
Food Aversions: Nothing
Food Cravings: Candy again
Best Moments this week: lying on the couch with my mum so she could feel the baby move.
What I miss: being able to breath properly. I'm hoping once the baby drops I'll be able to get more air in my lungs
What I am Looking forward to: My aunt comes to visit from Poland on Sunday! She teaches at an international school there.
I'm a little sad to say I now have only 1 ultrasound left. When I went on Thursday she told me that the head is still measuring a week behind but the baby's legs are longer then normal. So it looks like this baby will have a small head (that comes from me) and long legs (that would be from Dan's side.) We've pretty much got everything we need for the baby. Picked up a few miscellaneous things like burp cloths and washable cloth diaper inserts. We're going to try cloth diapers. My mum went a little crazy while I was pregnant with Hailey and stocked up on newborn diapers when they came on sale. We've got a few packs of different sizes of disposable ones so we'll probably end up mixing and using both depending on where we're going that day. We've yet to buy any cloth diapers but since we're waiting until the baby's born to really do clothes shopping and we've got a ton of disposables we'll get them a little later on.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
House guests after birth
I've always had an idea in my mind about what the first few weeks at home with a newborn should be like, Dan and I doing it on our own at night and having a few visitors (mainly immediate family and close friends) coming to see the baby during the day. This would give us time to bond as a family. Last year Dan's cousin was living with us and I was really sad that we wouldn't have that with Hailey as we'd have an extra person in the house. After the 20 week ultrasound and we were told this baby is healthy we started talking about what our plans would be. Dan was going to take 2 weeks off. I'd asked if he'd be ok if my mum stayed with us the first few nights after Dan went back to work, depending on how things went. Dan was dead set against this and I didn't push. I did warn him though that if I needed help and he didn't get up to help me the next night my mum would be staying over :)
Then Dan's mum decided she was going to come out. Dan asked me when I thought it'd be best and I said mid August. That would give us enough time to adjust to a newborn and bond as a family. I also didn't see the point in her coming out in July as I thought she'd want to spend as much time possible with the baby and if I went late I wouldn't be induced until early August. I thought that was the plan although I knew she hadn't booked any flights yet. This weekend Dan told me that his mum and her friend were now going to come out. They're planning on arriving July 28th or 29th and her friend would go back on August 5th and his mum on the 21st. I'm really frustrated with this.
I can't say anything about his mum coming to stay. Although it feels like a double standard that he didn't want my mum to stay with us after Dan went back to work and as much as I'd like it to just be the 3 of us with them living so far away I don't feel I can say no to her coming out. What bugs me the most is that instead of just 1 extra person we will now have 2. I have yet to bond with this baby and I'm pretty sure Dan is the same way. Unless the baby is early or close to it's due date we won't have this chance to be alone for at least 3 weeks. I've never been all that comfortable having people staying at my house (I spent most of the time Dan's cousin lived with us in my room, although that could be because I found him REALLY annoying!) So I've asked Dan to please take his holidays while his mum's friend is out. This also means if the baby is early Dan can only take while I'm in labour off work.
Then there's the flights. We have 3 airports all within an hour of our house. 2 in Canada and 1 in the US. Do you think they could fly to any of those? Nope, they have to fly into the US airport that's a 3.5 hour drive away. With them arriving either the 28th or 29th I could still be pregnant or in labour and someone has to do the 6 hour return trip to go get them. There's no way I can go as I'll already be a week overdue and I've left if up to Dan to decide if he wants to risk missing the birth to get them (which I'll be really angry about.) At the moment we're thinking of either paying one of our friends to go down and get them or asking my Dad to go. We all know that this WILL be the day I go into labour as it just seems the perfect day for it to happen and just our luck!
I'm really anxious about something else. Dan's mum had a stillbirth her first pregnancy. She felt the baby moving when she went to bed and the next morning she went into the hospital to be induced and the baby had died sometime in between. The further overdue I go the more stress will be on me and her. I'm planning on talking to my OB about this as we get closer to the due date. They tend to not induce here unless you are over 10 days late but I'm hoping to convince him to go 5 days instead. This would mean I'm induced on the 27th. I really don't want to be induced. I'd love to go into labour naturally and have as close to a natural labour as possible but the stress and anxiety of stillbirth is already eating away at me (I've already started doing kick counts to keep myself sane.) Then there's his mum's friend. Her first baby died from anencephaly. She then ended her second pregnancy when they found out that baby also had it. She now has 2 healthy children. When we went to Australia last year she was very upset after hearing what we were going through. She never had the chance to talk to anyone about her loses. Her best friend (Dan's mum) had just lost her baby and it wasn't something you talked about 30 years ago. Hailey brought back all the memories from her pregnancies.
I guess I'm just worried that the visit will be more focused on the babies we've all lost instead of being about this baby. While of course I'll think of Hailey I feel like we should be celebrating this baby not grieving the ones lost. I don't know, maybe it's selfish but it'll be hard enough on me and my post partum hormones I don't need 2 other people staying with us going through the same emotions as well. I'm sure it all just comes down to that picture I had in my mind of what those first few weeks as a family would be like and it's now going to be completely different. When did I turn so bitter?
Then Dan's mum decided she was going to come out. Dan asked me when I thought it'd be best and I said mid August. That would give us enough time to adjust to a newborn and bond as a family. I also didn't see the point in her coming out in July as I thought she'd want to spend as much time possible with the baby and if I went late I wouldn't be induced until early August. I thought that was the plan although I knew she hadn't booked any flights yet. This weekend Dan told me that his mum and her friend were now going to come out. They're planning on arriving July 28th or 29th and her friend would go back on August 5th and his mum on the 21st. I'm really frustrated with this.
I can't say anything about his mum coming to stay. Although it feels like a double standard that he didn't want my mum to stay with us after Dan went back to work and as much as I'd like it to just be the 3 of us with them living so far away I don't feel I can say no to her coming out. What bugs me the most is that instead of just 1 extra person we will now have 2. I have yet to bond with this baby and I'm pretty sure Dan is the same way. Unless the baby is early or close to it's due date we won't have this chance to be alone for at least 3 weeks. I've never been all that comfortable having people staying at my house (I spent most of the time Dan's cousin lived with us in my room, although that could be because I found him REALLY annoying!) So I've asked Dan to please take his holidays while his mum's friend is out. This also means if the baby is early Dan can only take while I'm in labour off work.
Then there's the flights. We have 3 airports all within an hour of our house. 2 in Canada and 1 in the US. Do you think they could fly to any of those? Nope, they have to fly into the US airport that's a 3.5 hour drive away. With them arriving either the 28th or 29th I could still be pregnant or in labour and someone has to do the 6 hour return trip to go get them. There's no way I can go as I'll already be a week overdue and I've left if up to Dan to decide if he wants to risk missing the birth to get them (which I'll be really angry about.) At the moment we're thinking of either paying one of our friends to go down and get them or asking my Dad to go. We all know that this WILL be the day I go into labour as it just seems the perfect day for it to happen and just our luck!
I'm really anxious about something else. Dan's mum had a stillbirth her first pregnancy. She felt the baby moving when she went to bed and the next morning she went into the hospital to be induced and the baby had died sometime in between. The further overdue I go the more stress will be on me and her. I'm planning on talking to my OB about this as we get closer to the due date. They tend to not induce here unless you are over 10 days late but I'm hoping to convince him to go 5 days instead. This would mean I'm induced on the 27th. I really don't want to be induced. I'd love to go into labour naturally and have as close to a natural labour as possible but the stress and anxiety of stillbirth is already eating away at me (I've already started doing kick counts to keep myself sane.) Then there's his mum's friend. Her first baby died from anencephaly. She then ended her second pregnancy when they found out that baby also had it. She now has 2 healthy children. When we went to Australia last year she was very upset after hearing what we were going through. She never had the chance to talk to anyone about her loses. Her best friend (Dan's mum) had just lost her baby and it wasn't something you talked about 30 years ago. Hailey brought back all the memories from her pregnancies.
I guess I'm just worried that the visit will be more focused on the babies we've all lost instead of being about this baby. While of course I'll think of Hailey I feel like we should be celebrating this baby not grieving the ones lost. I don't know, maybe it's selfish but it'll be hard enough on me and my post partum hormones I don't need 2 other people staying with us going through the same emotions as well. I'm sure it all just comes down to that picture I had in my mind of what those first few weeks as a family would be like and it's now going to be completely different. When did I turn so bitter?
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