ultrasound

I'm exhausted and really want to go to bed but thought I'd quickly give you the good news.... the baby has a 4 chamber heart! I'll write more about the appointment and how I'm feeling about everything tomorrow.

*UPDATE*
So we had the ultrasound/echo yesterday. The appointment was meant to be at 1:45 but we didn't get in until after 3 (which really sucks with a full bladder!) Then I felt bad because the tech apologized and said it's been a crazy day and that 4 out of the 5 echo's done so far had had issues. My heart really went out to those families. That was us less then a year ago and it's such devastating news. However I told the ultrasound tech that she must be due for a nice simple ultrasound with nothing wrong, and that's exactly what we got!
The baby is not only heart healthy, but healthy in every way. The cardiologist did warn us that some left ventricle defects can't be seen at 20 weeks and she gave a few examples like small holes etc. I asked if any of the possible defects would be serious and she said no, nothing that can't be fixed. I'm totally fine if there's an issue in the future as long as it's fixable and the baby can survive. At the end of the appointment she asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby and I said no, much to my mum and Dan's disappointment!

I've been thinking about this today and I think I know why I don't want to know the sex. I say it's because I've always imagined giving birth and having the doctor say "it's a......." but I think what it really is is I don't want to have to start shopping for clothes and planning for this specific baby. I feel like as soon as I let my guard down something will go wrong. Dan has been begging me to get a crib (in fact last weekend while at the mall he asked if we could buy it since I said I wouldn't end the pregnancy no matter what was wrong.) A crib just seems so final. I still can't except that I'll likely have a baby in my house in August. All I can think about is what if we get this crib and something happens. I don't want to have to walk into the room after leaving the hospital again without our baby and see the crib sitting there just waiting for a baby we no longer have. I've made a compromise that we can go get the crib when I'm 23 weeks.

I forgot to mention that when the cardiologist mentioned the possibility of heart defects developing later in the pregnancy I asked if that's why maternal fetal medicine at the hospital had ordered ultrasounds every 2 weeks. She said  no and then looked in my chart and said "oh that's to check your cervix because of that thing on there." What the hell does that mean? I can only assume it's the scarring but now I'm freaking out a little. I don't even want to think about the C word coming back. I have my last appointment with my GP tomorrow so I'll ask her. I'm not too worried at the moment. Even if the cancer has come back I'd like to think the worst that happens is once I deliver they do a hysterectomy or I get treatment. As much as I've always wanted at least 2 children, I'd be more then happy if we can only have 1 living. This baby is my number one priority. No matter what it is I'm not stressing much. I've proven I can carry a baby to at least 24 weeks and even then it took 36 hours from the start of induction to delivery.