Anniversaries

Some important dates are starting to come up. Tomorrow is the anniversary of when Dan proposed 5 years ago. As great as that is all I can think about is the anniversary the day after. April 1st is the day of our first fetal echo. I sit here and instead of thinking about Dan and I all I think about is how a year tomorrow was the last day before our lives changed forever. I remember sitting at A&W (where we always go for dinner on March 31st *long story*) talking about the ultrasound we were going to have the next day. We had no idea how different our lives were about to become.

April 1st 2010 was the start of the worst 4 weeks of my life. I think back to that time last year and it was horrible. I spent most of my time at home crying, researching and wanting all the doctor's to be wrong. Next came all the ultrasounds, doctor's appointments and on April 27th we went into the hospital and she was born 28th. I still remember holding her. I can still close my eyes and think back to that night and it seems so real like I can reach out and touch her. I still remember that feeling of seeing her for the first time and holding her. I remember how hard it was to say goodbye. I miss her so much.

As sad as this anniversary on April 1st is it's a bittersweet day. I just feel like Hailey is looking down on this baby and keeping it safe. April 1st I turn 24 weeks with Baby #2. How ironic that the day we found out our first child had a severe defect, a year to the day our second pregnancy reaches the stage of viability. I believe this baby has it's big sister watching over it. We had a picture of Hailey above the fireplace and I've just recently bought a new frame. It's now a picture of our family. Hailey, baby #2 and Dan and I. WE are a family and always will be. If we decide to have another baby we'll rearrange the frame and take out the pic of myself and Dan and have the frame be of all our children. Here's what it looks like at the moment.