How far along? 34 weeks
Baby's size? Butternut squash
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 191.0 Up 42.4 lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, L pants and XL shirts
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: All the time
Sleep: Baby is now sitting on my bladder so I'm up at least once a night
Symptoms: Braxton Hicks
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Chips, 1% milk
Best moments this week: Lauren listening to the baby's heartbeat
What I miss: Feeling normal
What I'm looking forward to: Holding this baby in my arms
I didn't bother re reading last week's but I know I mentioned that my depression is getting better however my anxiety is getting worse and I've had a couple panic attacks. Well it's been a productive week.
Monday I had my doctor's appointment at the maternity group. I'd called last week to change the doctor I was seeing to someone else. I'm so happy I did. She really understands my anxiety and is very supportive. She filled out my short term disability paperwork in a way that it will likely get approved. She put as the diagnosis "threatened pre term labour" and a secondary diagnosis as "anxiety". We then did the doppler and Lauren got to listen to the baby. She was very excited about it.
Tuesday I had an appointment with the mental health nurse. I told her about my anxiety and she said she'd actually been wondering how I was doing as she's seen a difference the past couple weeks at our group. She decided to move up my appointment with the psychiatrist to December 9th and gave me strategies to try to cope with the anxiety in the mean time. I also had my last perinatal depression/anxiety group that afternoon
Yesterday (Thursday) I had an appointment with my family doctor. I made this appointment because I knew she was going to call soon to see how I was doing and I thought I mine as well make an appointment to let her know all that has gone on so at least she gets paid to talk to me. I expected it to be a quick visit as I was really just keeping her informed. She came in and asked if it was ok if she sent a student in to talk to me first. I said yes that's fine as I'm all for them learning and I think it's good for them to see things like this. I spoke to the student and she was really nice and thorough. She asked a bunch of questions and got me to do the depression and anxiety "test". Good news is my depression score has improved in the past 9 weeks but my anxiety has definitely increased. I scored 19 out of a possible 21 and fall into the severe anxiety range (not surprising). She then left and talked to the doctor. They both came into the room to talk to me. Basically there's a couple things she wanted to talk about.
#1. she doesn't want to wait another week and a half to see the psychiatrist before starting meds. She was going to research which to put me on that was pregnancy safe and that I could breastfeed on. She's going to call later this evening and call in the prescription for me to start tomorrow.
#2. She asked about my anxiety of going to the maternity group. I'd mentioned to the student that the second panic attack came after I got off the phone with them. I'd called to change my appointment to first thing Monday morning as I was not wanting to go and if it was first thing Monday I couldn't cancel it over the weekend as they were closed. She asked if it could possibly be from Hailey's pregnancy. I think this could possibly be the case but I also think it has to do with the other doctor I've been seeing most of the time who I do not like. My doctor offered to get me in with a new female OB in town. I said I was fine staying there because I liked the other doctor I'd seen Monday. Then she told me the think about it and talk to Dan. As soon as she said that I agreed to the switch. I didn't need to talk to Dan. I knew exactly what he was going to say and I've heard him say it 90% of the evenings after my appointments. "Why are you still with them?" So she's going to contact the OB and get me in to see her.
#3. I needed to talk to my mum. They're concerned that I don't really remember the panic attacks and zone out when I have them. They worry about Lauren's safety which I completely understand. While I'd never harm her in any way when I have an attack I am not physically able to care for her. I promised to talk to my mum after my appointment and I'm sure she'll mention it tonight when she calls.
I did talk to my mum when I got home. She understands why there'd be concern for Lauren's safety and said she'd keep her cell phone on her at all times including at work so I can call if I feel the need or if I have one. It's so nice to have the support and know there's a safety in place for Lauren.
I find the anxiety so much more difficult to talk about. Everyone understands and accepts perinatal depression but it's harder to explain and understand anxiety. Even Dan doesn't understand. He tries but he just doesn't understand what anxiety really is. He asks questions about what it's like but he doesn't get it and I can't explain it. That's one of the hardest parts. He's supportive as much as he can be but it's hard to be supportive when you don't truly understand and it's hard to talk to someone who doesn't really understand what I'm talking about.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
33 weeks
How far along? 33 weeks
Baby's size? Durian fruit
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 187.4 Up 39.8 lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, L pants and L shirts probably going to be XL shirts soon
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: All the time
Sleep: Alright. The baby has now started sitting on my bladder so I'm up a few times a night.
Symptoms: Braxton Hicks, lower back pain
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges
Best moments this week: Just normal feeling baby move
What I miss: Feeling normal
What I'm looking forward to: Holding this baby in my arms
Baby wise everything's ok. Depression wise I'm also ok, I've been using the tools from the support group and most days are good. Anxiety, well that's what's become the main issue at the moment. I knew the anxiety was building, it did last time with Lauren as well but this time it's different. I'm not sure what exactly is causing the anxiety. Really I think it's a mixture of so many different things that it's hard to tell where it's truly coming from. We watched a video at the peri natal support group on Tuesday that was about couples and their relationship while and after going through post natal depression. It made me very thankful that I'm having these symptoms early and that we've been able to put things in place for the very real likelihood of post natal depression. It also made me thankful that my husband and family know what to look out for, instead of these women who go months untreated and their husbands and friends don't understand. It did however make me scared of the future. If this is what I'm feeling now I'm very scared of how I'll feel after the baby is born, especially since meds take 4-6 weeks to become effective. During the video they very briefly talked about how one woman had panic attacks. That's when I remembered that I had one last week. I don't remember much of it and that's a little scary. If I really think hard I remember laying in bed with Lauren as she fell asleep crying. Then I left her room, lay down in my bed and cried. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop crying. I remember thinking "I'm having a panic attack". I can't remember why though. I had another one today. I phoned the doctors office to change my appointment to a different doctor (I hate the one I've been seeing for 80% of this pregnancy) and after I got off the phone I was really shaky and was having trouble catching my breath. I quickly put a show on netflix for Lauren to watch and went to the bedroom where again I was crying uncontrollably, shaking and struggling to breathe. I zoned out. I remember just staring at the wall for who knows how long. It's all a little foggy and it's only been 6 hours. I'm sure I'll remember even less tomorrow. I've made an appointment with the mental health nurse for Tuesday morning and I'm thinking it's time for me to go on meds. It's only going to get worse as the pregnancy progresses and I'm not sure how I can control this part of it. From our initial conversation when I was accepted as a patient she mentioned that if I do need to go on meds she'd consult with the perinatal psychiatrist and bc women's to find the one that's safest for me during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Last time I went on effexor for that week my depression and anxiety got worse because I was so scared to harm the baby. I hope they can find something that'll help.
Baby's size? Durian fruit
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 187.4 Up 39.8 lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, L pants and L shirts probably going to be XL shirts soon
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: All the time
Sleep: Alright. The baby has now started sitting on my bladder so I'm up a few times a night.
Symptoms: Braxton Hicks, lower back pain
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges
Best moments this week: Just normal feeling baby move
What I miss: Feeling normal
What I'm looking forward to: Holding this baby in my arms
Baby wise everything's ok. Depression wise I'm also ok, I've been using the tools from the support group and most days are good. Anxiety, well that's what's become the main issue at the moment. I knew the anxiety was building, it did last time with Lauren as well but this time it's different. I'm not sure what exactly is causing the anxiety. Really I think it's a mixture of so many different things that it's hard to tell where it's truly coming from. We watched a video at the peri natal support group on Tuesday that was about couples and their relationship while and after going through post natal depression. It made me very thankful that I'm having these symptoms early and that we've been able to put things in place for the very real likelihood of post natal depression. It also made me thankful that my husband and family know what to look out for, instead of these women who go months untreated and their husbands and friends don't understand. It did however make me scared of the future. If this is what I'm feeling now I'm very scared of how I'll feel after the baby is born, especially since meds take 4-6 weeks to become effective. During the video they very briefly talked about how one woman had panic attacks. That's when I remembered that I had one last week. I don't remember much of it and that's a little scary. If I really think hard I remember laying in bed with Lauren as she fell asleep crying. Then I left her room, lay down in my bed and cried. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop crying. I remember thinking "I'm having a panic attack". I can't remember why though. I had another one today. I phoned the doctors office to change my appointment to a different doctor (I hate the one I've been seeing for 80% of this pregnancy) and after I got off the phone I was really shaky and was having trouble catching my breath. I quickly put a show on netflix for Lauren to watch and went to the bedroom where again I was crying uncontrollably, shaking and struggling to breathe. I zoned out. I remember just staring at the wall for who knows how long. It's all a little foggy and it's only been 6 hours. I'm sure I'll remember even less tomorrow. I've made an appointment with the mental health nurse for Tuesday morning and I'm thinking it's time for me to go on meds. It's only going to get worse as the pregnancy progresses and I'm not sure how I can control this part of it. From our initial conversation when I was accepted as a patient she mentioned that if I do need to go on meds she'd consult with the perinatal psychiatrist and bc women's to find the one that's safest for me during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Last time I went on effexor for that week my depression and anxiety got worse because I was so scared to harm the baby. I hope they can find something that'll help.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Lauren update
I haven't done one of these in a really long time. She's kept me so busy that I have a hard time keeping up with the weekly pregnancy blog and this post is very long overdue.
My sweet sweet Lauren. There's a few words that come to mind when I think of her. Easy going, laid back, spirited and stubborn. They don't really seem to go together but they seem to fit just perfectly with her. She wasn't always the easy going child. She definitely had colic the first 5 or so months of her life. Since around 10 months she's really started to come into her own. Her personality shines through and boy does she have a personality. She's shy at times yet very outgoing once she's warmed up. She talks non stop and often sings when we're in the grocery store or out in public. She has very little fear. She'll try anything at least once and most of the time if it involves injury (mild of course) she just picks herself up, says "I'm ok" and moves on. She tells it to you like it is and I often forget that she's still so little and not yet 2 and a half even. An example:
Dan's been taking her swimming once a week and she's been improving greatly. When she falls over we give her a few seconds to try to get herself to stand up (an important skill in our eyes) and 99% of the time she does this on her own now. She still doesn't like getting her head wet though so a few weeks ago she fell, went under water for probably about 5 seconds, stood up on her own and carried on playing. When we were getting changed I commented on how she was such a good girl and she didn't cry when she went under water. Her response: "I cried under the water".
She tries my patience and tests boundaries often. I know this is a normal part of toddler development but being pregnant means my patience is already slightly lower! If there's something that she wants or has her mind set on it takes a lot to distract an move away from it. She's been fighting a cold for the past couple days so the past few nights she's slept in our bed because she'll wake up multiple times throughout the night upset that she's having trouble breathing. Last night she refused to go to sleep. She kept trying to delay, she wanted to read another book, she wanted water, she had to pee. No to the book, we already know the water trick so have a cup handy on the bedside table, she's wearing a diaper so go ahead a pee. Then she brings out the big guns. The we absolutely have to get out of bed for this. "I need to poo". Are you sure? Yes. Promise? Yes. "Ok, but if you don't have to go you'll have to go back to your bed by yourself. Do you still need to go poo?" Yes. So off we go to the bathroom. She sits on the potty for 5 minutes pretending to try to go. Finally I ask her again if she needs to go poo. "No mummy". I then explain that she'll have to go to her room for 5 minutes because I asked her a few times if she needed to and she said yes. She lied to mummy. So I placed her in her bed in her room. The first to minutes she cried, calling out my name. Then she stood at the door for a minute banging it saying "mummy, let me out" the last minute or so was the worst. She moved away from the door and just kept yelling "mummy" in a really angry tone I'd never heard from her before. I went in a minute early and found her sitting on the chair at her desk. I went to go talk to her, remind her why she was in her room, give her a hug/kiss and tell her I loved her before brining her back into our bed. Lauren had other plans. She wouldn't look at me. When I came into the room she simply got off the chair, walked past me, opened the door, walked into our bedroom and got into bed. She was PISSED! She didn't want Dan to cuddle her though, she still wanted me so I decided not to talk about. We cuddled and she fell asleep within minutes. This morning I asked if she was still mad at me and she said no, that she loved me. I reminded her that no matter she does and even if I'm mad or she's in a time out I always love her.
Most of the time she's such a sweet little girl but every once in a while I catch a tiny glimpse of what our lives with her as a teenager will be like. I wouldn't change her personality for anything. She fits into our lives so well that I'm scared about this next baby. Lauren's set such high expectations and has always been ahead with milestones (incase it wasn't obvious with the earlier story, she's been potty trained since September).
My sweet sweet Lauren. There's a few words that come to mind when I think of her. Easy going, laid back, spirited and stubborn. They don't really seem to go together but they seem to fit just perfectly with her. She wasn't always the easy going child. She definitely had colic the first 5 or so months of her life. Since around 10 months she's really started to come into her own. Her personality shines through and boy does she have a personality. She's shy at times yet very outgoing once she's warmed up. She talks non stop and often sings when we're in the grocery store or out in public. She has very little fear. She'll try anything at least once and most of the time if it involves injury (mild of course) she just picks herself up, says "I'm ok" and moves on. She tells it to you like it is and I often forget that she's still so little and not yet 2 and a half even. An example:
Dan's been taking her swimming once a week and she's been improving greatly. When she falls over we give her a few seconds to try to get herself to stand up (an important skill in our eyes) and 99% of the time she does this on her own now. She still doesn't like getting her head wet though so a few weeks ago she fell, went under water for probably about 5 seconds, stood up on her own and carried on playing. When we were getting changed I commented on how she was such a good girl and she didn't cry when she went under water. Her response: "I cried under the water".
She tries my patience and tests boundaries often. I know this is a normal part of toddler development but being pregnant means my patience is already slightly lower! If there's something that she wants or has her mind set on it takes a lot to distract an move away from it. She's been fighting a cold for the past couple days so the past few nights she's slept in our bed because she'll wake up multiple times throughout the night upset that she's having trouble breathing. Last night she refused to go to sleep. She kept trying to delay, she wanted to read another book, she wanted water, she had to pee. No to the book, we already know the water trick so have a cup handy on the bedside table, she's wearing a diaper so go ahead a pee. Then she brings out the big guns. The we absolutely have to get out of bed for this. "I need to poo". Are you sure? Yes. Promise? Yes. "Ok, but if you don't have to go you'll have to go back to your bed by yourself. Do you still need to go poo?" Yes. So off we go to the bathroom. She sits on the potty for 5 minutes pretending to try to go. Finally I ask her again if she needs to go poo. "No mummy". I then explain that she'll have to go to her room for 5 minutes because I asked her a few times if she needed to and she said yes. She lied to mummy. So I placed her in her bed in her room. The first to minutes she cried, calling out my name. Then she stood at the door for a minute banging it saying "mummy, let me out" the last minute or so was the worst. She moved away from the door and just kept yelling "mummy" in a really angry tone I'd never heard from her before. I went in a minute early and found her sitting on the chair at her desk. I went to go talk to her, remind her why she was in her room, give her a hug/kiss and tell her I loved her before brining her back into our bed. Lauren had other plans. She wouldn't look at me. When I came into the room she simply got off the chair, walked past me, opened the door, walked into our bedroom and got into bed. She was PISSED! She didn't want Dan to cuddle her though, she still wanted me so I decided not to talk about. We cuddled and she fell asleep within minutes. This morning I asked if she was still mad at me and she said no, that she loved me. I reminded her that no matter she does and even if I'm mad or she's in a time out I always love her.
Most of the time she's such a sweet little girl but every once in a while I catch a tiny glimpse of what our lives with her as a teenager will be like. I wouldn't change her personality for anything. She fits into our lives so well that I'm scared about this next baby. Lauren's set such high expectations and has always been ahead with milestones (incase it wasn't obvious with the earlier story, she's been potty trained since September).
Saturday, November 16, 2013
31 weeks
Oops, forgot to post this last week. Well really I forgot to finish it!!!!!!!!
How far along? 31 weeks
Baby's size? Pineapple
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 181.6 up 35lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, definitely
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: Lots
Sleep: Pretty good at the moment. This baby doesn't sit on my bladder so I never wake up to pee, it's more waking up to readjust and get comfortable.
Symptoms: Nothing really
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges
Best moments this week: Just normal feeling baby move
What I miss: Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I'm looking forward to: Continuing with the group
How far along? 31 weeks
Baby's size? Pineapple
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 181.6 up 35lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, definitely
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: Lots
Sleep: Pretty good at the moment. This baby doesn't sit on my bladder so I never wake up to pee, it's more waking up to readjust and get comfortable.
Symptoms: Nothing really
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges
Best moments this week: Just normal feeling baby move
What I miss: Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I'm looking forward to: Continuing with the group
32 weeks
How far along? 32 weeks
Baby's size? Squash
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 15.0 Up 36.4 lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, definitely L pants and going into XL shirts to accommodate the growing belly
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: All the time
Sleep: Pretty good at the moment. This baby doesn't sit on my bladder so I never wake up to pee, it's more waking up to readjust and get comfortable.
Symptoms: Braxton Hicks
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges
Best moments this week: Just normal feeling baby move
What I miss: Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I'm looking forward to: Holding this baby in my arms
Less then 2 months to go!!! I've been taken off work. My last day was Nov. 7th. I decided it was for the best because of the pains I was having. I'm not sure if they were just really painful braxton hicks but I suspect they were contractions since they'd spread around my tummy to my back and were quite painful. They'd start 45 minutes into my work day and come roughly every 10 minutes lasting for 45-60 seconds. I'd have around 6 every hour until a few hours after work when they'd start to die down. Since I've been off they've all but gone away. I'll get the occasional one when I'm stressed but otherwise just the normal braxton hicks with the painless yet uncomfortable tightening. I also started to get mild carpal tunnel. I noticed it a few months ago. I'd wake up in the middle of the night to find my left hand numb. This was odd since I was sleeping on my right side so it's not like it wasn't getting circulation. Over time it started happening randomly through the day. I'm not sure if this is normal but it's random what part of my hand goes numb. Sometimes it's just my fingertips, sometimes it's certain fingers and other times it's goes up the side of my hand to my pinky finger tip. It started happening numerous times a day and since I work with needles I thought it was best for this reason as well to go off. My doctor suggested getting a brace but is there really any point in spending that money if it should go away after pregnancy? We're going to try going off on short term disability through my work since that's 75% of my pay and if that gets denied and I can't talk them into it over the phone I'll go off my sick ei which is 55% of my pay. It sucks because while we've managed to save it would've been nice to have an extra 2 months to put some money aside. I'm not too stressed money wise at the moment. I've got 4.5 mortgage payments put aside which will last until January 17th and after that we can dip into our other savings (which I'd really rather not do). My mum has also said she's going to give us some money to put aside and use if we need. That way we don't have to ask and can pay her back when we no longer need to worry. I really appreciate this because while I would ask if we needed, it would be very hard to admit to my parents that we're struggling to pay bills and ask for help. The main issue financially with going off early is that I have to take a week unpaid from work until std kicks in and then get the forms, have the doctor fill them out and wait to see if they're approved. I expect this to take 3-4 weeks. If I'm denied I then have to go back to the doctor and get them to fill out a sick ei form, fill out that paperwork and wait anywhere up to 8 weeks to receive my first payment from the date of submission. That means we could be on one income for 3 months. With our savings in reality it's not a big deal because we'll get a portion (75-55%) back in a large chunk it's just having that money there at the time to get us by. I don't know how people who live paycheque to paycheque get by while on maternity leave and am so thankful we are able to save a little each month and have the support of our family if we need it.
This baby can stay in for another 5 weeks, then I'll start doing as much as I can to get things moving along. I would prefer not to have another 10 days past due date induction. I'd love to go into labour naturally for my final pregnancy. What a great way to end our difficult journey. I'm trying to appreciate all these little movements and moments of pregnancy while I can knowing that this will be the last time I am ever going to experience this again.
My weight has also started creeping up these past few weeks. Honestly I'm not concerned. Again because this is my last pregnancy I'm just going with it. I managed to lose it all plus extra with Lauren and fully expect to do the same this time. I've got a plan in place to train for a mini triathlon in July and have decided to just enjoy these last few weeks with as little stress as possible on the weight issue. I'll deal with that when the time comes after the baby is born.
Baby's size? Squash
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 15.0 Up 36.4 lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, definitely L pants and going into XL shirts to accommodate the growing belly
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: All the time
Sleep: Pretty good at the moment. This baby doesn't sit on my bladder so I never wake up to pee, it's more waking up to readjust and get comfortable.
Symptoms: Braxton Hicks
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges
Best moments this week: Just normal feeling baby move
What I miss: Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I'm looking forward to: Holding this baby in my arms
Less then 2 months to go!!! I've been taken off work. My last day was Nov. 7th. I decided it was for the best because of the pains I was having. I'm not sure if they were just really painful braxton hicks but I suspect they were contractions since they'd spread around my tummy to my back and were quite painful. They'd start 45 minutes into my work day and come roughly every 10 minutes lasting for 45-60 seconds. I'd have around 6 every hour until a few hours after work when they'd start to die down. Since I've been off they've all but gone away. I'll get the occasional one when I'm stressed but otherwise just the normal braxton hicks with the painless yet uncomfortable tightening. I also started to get mild carpal tunnel. I noticed it a few months ago. I'd wake up in the middle of the night to find my left hand numb. This was odd since I was sleeping on my right side so it's not like it wasn't getting circulation. Over time it started happening randomly through the day. I'm not sure if this is normal but it's random what part of my hand goes numb. Sometimes it's just my fingertips, sometimes it's certain fingers and other times it's goes up the side of my hand to my pinky finger tip. It started happening numerous times a day and since I work with needles I thought it was best for this reason as well to go off. My doctor suggested getting a brace but is there really any point in spending that money if it should go away after pregnancy? We're going to try going off on short term disability through my work since that's 75% of my pay and if that gets denied and I can't talk them into it over the phone I'll go off my sick ei which is 55% of my pay. It sucks because while we've managed to save it would've been nice to have an extra 2 months to put some money aside. I'm not too stressed money wise at the moment. I've got 4.5 mortgage payments put aside which will last until January 17th and after that we can dip into our other savings (which I'd really rather not do). My mum has also said she's going to give us some money to put aside and use if we need. That way we don't have to ask and can pay her back when we no longer need to worry. I really appreciate this because while I would ask if we needed, it would be very hard to admit to my parents that we're struggling to pay bills and ask for help. The main issue financially with going off early is that I have to take a week unpaid from work until std kicks in and then get the forms, have the doctor fill them out and wait to see if they're approved. I expect this to take 3-4 weeks. If I'm denied I then have to go back to the doctor and get them to fill out a sick ei form, fill out that paperwork and wait anywhere up to 8 weeks to receive my first payment from the date of submission. That means we could be on one income for 3 months. With our savings in reality it's not a big deal because we'll get a portion (75-55%) back in a large chunk it's just having that money there at the time to get us by. I don't know how people who live paycheque to paycheque get by while on maternity leave and am so thankful we are able to save a little each month and have the support of our family if we need it.
This baby can stay in for another 5 weeks, then I'll start doing as much as I can to get things moving along. I would prefer not to have another 10 days past due date induction. I'd love to go into labour naturally for my final pregnancy. What a great way to end our difficult journey. I'm trying to appreciate all these little movements and moments of pregnancy while I can knowing that this will be the last time I am ever going to experience this again.
My weight has also started creeping up these past few weeks. Honestly I'm not concerned. Again because this is my last pregnancy I'm just going with it. I managed to lose it all plus extra with Lauren and fully expect to do the same this time. I've got a plan in place to train for a mini triathlon in July and have decided to just enjoy these last few weeks with as little stress as possible on the weight issue. I'll deal with that when the time comes after the baby is born.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
cramping
I ended up going to labour and delivery on Monday evening. Since Friday I'd been getting period like cramps and an increase in braxton hicks. The cramps is what was really worrying to me. They didn't go away and the braxton hicks were occasionally painful too. I kept track Monday morning and they came every 20 minutes, give or take 5 while I was at work. I put Lauren down for her nap after lunch and she didn't wake until 4. Although they weren't as frequent I was still getting the occasional cramping. After posting on a January Facebook group and having many women say that their first signs of labour were period like cramps I decided it was best to get checked out. I packed Lauren up and took her over to my mum's, called Dan to let him know what was going on and not to come to the hospital.
I hate going to the hospital. I especially hate going when I'm unsure if it's really warranted. I knew chances are that everything was fine but I needed to suck it up and make sure I wasn't going into early labour at 30 weeks. I got there at 5 and it took about 30 minutes before they hooked me up to the monitor for an hour. Of course at this point the cramps had pretty much stopped so don't think anything was picked up on the monitor. They called the doctor on call who came in to do swabs.
They did 4 tests in total. A swab to check my water hadn't broken since I've been having an increase of clear discharge (yup gross!) the past week or so, a swab to check for infection, even though she was fairly certain there wasn't any, mine as well double check while you're down there anyway! A GBS (group B strep) which is only good for 5 weeks so if I do go full term I'll still need another but incase I do go into labour before 35 weeks they did one while they were down there. The first test swab the did was a fetal fibronectin test, which is one of the most important of the 4.
Thankfully the test came back negative which gives a 99% chance I will not go into labour in the next 7 days. I'll have to talk to the maternity doctor on Tuesday but I think I've come to realize that the pains come while I'm at work and slowly go away in frequency while resting. I'm really conflicted about if I should go off work or not. I really do feel like work is making this pregnancy harder but if I go off early I also feel like a failure for a few reasons. I worked into my 39th week with Lauren and could've continued working which is why I put my maternity leave to start on my due date. Money is a big issue too. If I go off I'll either go on employment insurance sick leave at 55% of my pay until the baby is born or go on short term disability which is 75% of my pay until the baby is born and I switch to maternity leave pay of 55%. We could survive money wise but we've managed to put some money aside the past few weeks so we'd have a buffer while waiting for maternity leave to kick in (can take 8 weeks to process) and we'd need to use this for mortgage payments. I'd like to save a little more so we don't have to struggle during the year off. My last reason is I actually enjoy work. I enjoy going to work and getting out of the house for 5 hours a day. I worry that my peri natal depression will get worse if I'm sitting at home all day.
I hate going to the hospital. I especially hate going when I'm unsure if it's really warranted. I knew chances are that everything was fine but I needed to suck it up and make sure I wasn't going into early labour at 30 weeks. I got there at 5 and it took about 30 minutes before they hooked me up to the monitor for an hour. Of course at this point the cramps had pretty much stopped so don't think anything was picked up on the monitor. They called the doctor on call who came in to do swabs.
They did 4 tests in total. A swab to check my water hadn't broken since I've been having an increase of clear discharge (yup gross!) the past week or so, a swab to check for infection, even though she was fairly certain there wasn't any, mine as well double check while you're down there anyway! A GBS (group B strep) which is only good for 5 weeks so if I do go full term I'll still need another but incase I do go into labour before 35 weeks they did one while they were down there. The first test swab the did was a fetal fibronectin test, which is one of the most important of the 4.
Thankfully the test came back negative which gives a 99% chance I will not go into labour in the next 7 days. I'll have to talk to the maternity doctor on Tuesday but I think I've come to realize that the pains come while I'm at work and slowly go away in frequency while resting. I'm really conflicted about if I should go off work or not. I really do feel like work is making this pregnancy harder but if I go off early I also feel like a failure for a few reasons. I worked into my 39th week with Lauren and could've continued working which is why I put my maternity leave to start on my due date. Money is a big issue too. If I go off I'll either go on employment insurance sick leave at 55% of my pay until the baby is born or go on short term disability which is 75% of my pay until the baby is born and I switch to maternity leave pay of 55%. We could survive money wise but we've managed to put some money aside the past few weeks so we'd have a buffer while waiting for maternity leave to kick in (can take 8 weeks to process) and we'd need to use this for mortgage payments. I'd like to save a little more so we don't have to struggle during the year off. My last reason is I actually enjoy work. I enjoy going to work and getting out of the house for 5 hours a day. I worry that my peri natal depression will get worse if I'm sitting at home all day.
Friday, November 1, 2013
30 weeks
How far along? 30 weeks
Baby's size? Cucumber
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 180.0 Up 31.4 lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, definitely
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: All the time
Sleep: Pretty good at the moment. This baby doesn't sit on my bladder so I never wake up to pee, it's more waking up to readjust and get comfortable.
Symptoms: Nothing really
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges
Best moments this week: Just normal feeling baby move
What I miss: Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I'm looking forward to: Continuing with the group
It's been a pretty good week. The baby had a quiet day on Wednesday and it made me nervous. I noticed around 9am that I hadn't felt any movements since waking at 6am so I had some apple juice to see if that would wake the baby up. It didn't so on my coffee break I went to get a cup of coffee and drank it slowly over the next few hours. There were a few movements but nothing at all normal or frequent. I had decided that if the baby didn't start becoming more active by 7pm I would go to the hospital to make sure everything was ok. I didn't want to poke the baby or anything like that because I was worried it would be false movements and the baby was just responding to pressure. I thought that having the drinks and having it go through the placenta to encourage movement would show that the placenta was working too but the baby really did have a lazy day and wasn't very active at all. Around 4pm it started to move more frequently, enough for me to no longer worry about going to the hospital in a few hours and around 7:30 it started kicking up a storm. The movements have gone back to normal so I'm not concerned at all.
That's pretty much it for the week. Next appointment isn't until the 12th and I've got a few questions I'm starting to prepare. This is the last 4 week stretch of appointments! After this one they move to every 2 weeks!!!! 10 weeks until due date! Can't wait until next week when we're in the single digits.
Baby's size? Cucumber
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 180.0 Up 31.4 lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, definitely
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: All the time
Sleep: Pretty good at the moment. This baby doesn't sit on my bladder so I never wake up to pee, it's more waking up to readjust and get comfortable.
Symptoms: Nothing really
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Mandarin oranges
Best moments this week: Just normal feeling baby move
What I miss: Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I'm looking forward to: Continuing with the group
It's been a pretty good week. The baby had a quiet day on Wednesday and it made me nervous. I noticed around 9am that I hadn't felt any movements since waking at 6am so I had some apple juice to see if that would wake the baby up. It didn't so on my coffee break I went to get a cup of coffee and drank it slowly over the next few hours. There were a few movements but nothing at all normal or frequent. I had decided that if the baby didn't start becoming more active by 7pm I would go to the hospital to make sure everything was ok. I didn't want to poke the baby or anything like that because I was worried it would be false movements and the baby was just responding to pressure. I thought that having the drinks and having it go through the placenta to encourage movement would show that the placenta was working too but the baby really did have a lazy day and wasn't very active at all. Around 4pm it started to move more frequently, enough for me to no longer worry about going to the hospital in a few hours and around 7:30 it started kicking up a storm. The movements have gone back to normal so I'm not concerned at all.
That's pretty much it for the week. Next appointment isn't until the 12th and I've got a few questions I'm starting to prepare. This is the last 4 week stretch of appointments! After this one they move to every 2 weeks!!!! 10 weeks until due date! Can't wait until next week when we're in the single digits.
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