23/22 weeks

How far along? 23/22 weeks
Baby's size? grapefruit/papaya
Weight gain: starting pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 167.4 up 18.8lbs, I've lost 1.4lbs this week 
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup definitely. 
Gender: Don't think we'll find out but I think it's a boy.
Movement: All the time! This baby moves around a lot!!!
Sleep: I rarely sleep at the moment. Maybe a few hours a night in short bursts.
Symptoms: Nothing other then my boobs are HUGE I'm going to have to use my nursing bras soon.
Food aversions:I haven't felt like eating much, but that's emotional not pregnancy related.
Food cravings: frozen blueberries
Best moments this week: Nothing really
What I miss: Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I'm looking forward to: Feeling better

It's been a rough week. I spent a long time talking to Dan last night and decided I needed to see the doctor and go on anti depressants. I called my gp to make an appointment this morning and the earliest I could get in was Wednesday (I hate the receptionist, who makes someone, especially someone pregnant wait nearly a week to talk to the doctor about going on anti depressants?) so I called the maternity clinic and they fit my in at 11 this morning. I spoke to her and just said I don't know why I feel this way, there's nothing going on that would set it off. I've felt it coming on for the past few months but I thought it was connected with the ultrasound/echo and leading up it was definitely getting worse. Since it's only gotten more intense. The anger I had and have for Dan wasn't the cause of the depression, it was me feeling like my cries for help were going ignored.
I talked to the doctor about how the anti depressants could effect the baby and she said that there has been talk that it may cause chromosomal abnormalities and congenital defects (which I knew it was possibly connected with CHD's) but she says since I'm past 20 weeks and have had a great echo recently chances are it'll all be fine. In the end I need to be healthy before this baby is born. I need to be in an ok place or it'll only get much worse postpartum. I have another appointment on the 16th to see how it's going and if we need to increase the dose. She told me to call or come back anytime if I feel the need to. She also contacted our local mental health office and they called this afternoon already. They're comfortable with my support system I have in place and are setting me up with a peri natal depression support group. He told me they're on holidays for a couple weeks so it may be a few weeks before a meeting but I can drop in any time and speak with someone right away if I need to. I'm starting on the lowest dose and I know if can take 4-6 weeks to feel better physically and emotionally. 

I'm so thankful to have a supportive family and a system in place to handle this. 
One more check mark for possibly a boy? Man this baby is playing with my hormones like neither of my other 2 did!!!!!