Christmas!

Hope everyone had a happy christmas this year. It started off a little sad for me. I couldn't sleep so got up and sat on my laptop in the living room. All I could think about was how things would/should've been different this year if Hailey had been healthy. Eventually at 8am I decided I needed a change of scenery so I left for my grandmother's (Dan was still sleeping but promised to be over by 10am.) I decided to bring the doppler just incase as my mum isn't the best at keeping things quiet! When I got over to my grandma's my mum and aunt called me downstairs and my mum said that she'd told my aunt about my pregnancy. It turns out my cousin who will be over tomorrow is also pregnant and due 1 week before me! She'd wanted my aunt to tell everyone as she was worried I'd be upset (which I can understand the theory behind but I'd be nothing but happy for them.) So when my aunt found out she asked if I'd tell the family today and my cousin would tell them tomorrow. They knew that my pregnancy announcement would be emotional for everyone and they felt it would mean more if I told the family first.

So after my grandma finished unwrapping her last present I took the doppler over and played the recording for her that I'd taken yesterday (which was so much clearer then 3 days ago!) Here's how the conversation went:

Grandma: "It's a heartbeat!"
Me: "Yes"
Grandma: "Boy that's pretty fast"
Me: "Yes" (looking at her with expectant eyes!)
One of my aunts "Who's do you think it is?"
Grandma: "Who's it is?"
Me: "..... I'm pregnant!"

Then queue the tears and hugs from everyone in the room. Dan told me later that he was glad I was the one doing all the talking and the attention was off of him because he started tearing up. He's not normally an emotional guy so it just goes to show how much this past year has really affected him. We also stopped off at the cemetery on our way home to drop off some flowers for Hailey. I'm a little upset. The city called to say they'd received the memorial stone well over 2 weeks ago and I went in and paid for the installation that day. It's still not put in. I was really hoping to have it in by today.

Oh and about the bloodwork. My GP phoned me on the 23rd and said she just saw my lab work. I told her I was spotting the morning of the 22nd and just wanted to know either way what was going on but I'd found the heartbeat with a doppler later that day. She then asked how far along I am and I said 10 weeks going off dates but I'd had a scan exactly 4 weeks ago that dated me somewhere in my 4th week. She then said she's going to order another ultrasound because me levels were pretty high for being 8 weeks! So I'll be going for another ultrasound sometime in early January. Obviously my due date is still a little unknown and I think she may suspect..... twins!

I also made the mistake of going for that second HCG level yesterday. I'd originally decided I'd leave it since I found the heartbeat and then decided that morning to do the test so my doctor could see how quickly my levels were going up....... BIG MISTAKE! When I got home from work and looked up my lab results my HCG had actually dropped 2000 in 2 days! I started freaking out and brought out the doppler and found that clear heartbeat right away. I then researched online and it says that your levels plateau and start to drop anywhere from 8-12 weeks. My theory is as long as there's a goods strong heartbeat that's the most important part. There's no exact science to HCG levels and what's normal for one may not be normal for someone else. I'm just going to go off what I know, which is the baby has a good strong heartbeat! It still makes me nervous now that I've told the family and really wished I could've left it for a few more weeks. Keep this baby in your prayers please! I don't need a healthy at birth baby, I just want one that's fixable. I hope that makes sense........ I would LOVE a healthy baby but if that's not in our future than at least let this one be able to survive and have a decent life. I hope that's not asking for too much.