Baby's size? Cantaloupe
Weight gain: Starting Pregnancy weight: 148.6 Now: 172.8 Up 24.2 lbs
Stretch marks? I never got rid of my stretch marks from Hailey and Lauren
Maternity clothes? Yup, definitely
Gender: Not finding out
Movement: All the time
Sleep: Getting better. I still wake up a few times throughout the night but it takes me less time to fall back asleep.
Symptoms: Nothing really
Food aversions: Nothing
Food cravings: Nothing
Best moments this week: First week of the group (more on that soon)
What I miss: Nothing, so thankful to be pregnant again
What I'm looking forward to: Continuing with the group
It's been a while since I've updated. Everything is going well except I've been exhausted lately. Dan has decided to do ski patrol this year and is currently going through his first aid training. It's done over 6 weeks, full days so that means at the moment I'm on week 4 of not sleeping past 6 am since Lauren wakes up when he gets up. I try to have a little nap with her when she sleeps and tend to sleep for about 30 minutes before getting up and enjoying some quiet time to myself. Lately that hasn't really been happening much as that "quiet" time has been spent cleaning and doing housework. There's an end in sight and as long as he passes the first aid he'll only be gone one day every other weekend.
I had my doctors appointment (GP, not maternity) last Thursday and she was happy with the progress and the things I've put in place to keep myself off anti depressants for the time being. I've been working on the therapy and this week started a group therapy for perinatal depression. It's an 8 week course that gives you skills on coping with depression in a group setting to share your experiences and know you're not alone. I'm the only one in the group currently pregnant but that's ok with me. It wasn't until I arrived that I realized one of the 2 nurses doing the group is the same woman who ran the perinatal loss group. It was great to catch up with her.
Just from this first week I've learned so much and have been feeling better that my symptoms are "normal" and I'll get through them. I've been trying to figure out why the depression started this pregnancy. Really I think it's more anxiety that causing depression and I think it may have to do with the miscarriage. Traumatic experiences can trigger depression and anxiety. We all know I've had a few of those these past few years with Hailey and my other 5 pregnancies. If I really think back it all started around the time I had the hemorrhage at 10 weeks. I wouldn't be surprised if that triggered the memories and feeling from my last miscarriage which to me was very traumatic. I think back and I had gone to the hospital worrying about my health already excepting that I've lost the baby. Now here I am in that same pregnancy still dealing with the after effects of that day which would be the large clot. I've still so many unanswered questions and concerns but I don't think anyone can really answer those. It's just a wait and see and I'm not good at dealing with the unknown. I've also put in place that there will be help for the first few months with the baby. Dan will only be taking a week off when s/he comes. Then my mum will take the time off until his parents arrive in February. My doctor and I left it that I'd come see her again if I felt the need (she wanted to see me more often but I said that I felt like I'd know when and if I needed to see her again, plus I'm being seen by the mental health nurse). I also have to make an appointment 2/3 weeks post birth to see how I'm doing mental health wise. She did warn me that she'd be on holidays all of January but I love the replacement doctor so I'm totally ok seeing her instead.
I have an appointment with the maternity clinic Tuesday. I really want to mention the pain in my left side. I've had this pain for quite a while and haven't mentioned it yet. I stopped walking to work months ago because it became too painful to walk home and now I've started being in pain a few hours into my 5 hour shift. I'm not looking to go off work any time soon, I just want to know what it is, if there's anything I can do to reduce the pain and make note so when I do feel it's too much they're willing to take me off work. It makes me a little sad. I have my maternity leave set up as my due date and really thought I'd be able to keep working until then but those days that I work, if I don't rest and do very little in the afternoon I'm hurting so much at night that I just want to cry. I couldn't even scoop ice cream the other night it hurt that much. It's always in the same spot and I really think it's muscular so I doubt there's anything that can be done unfortunately. It also has me concerned about the labour. How am I going to push a baby out if I'm in this much pain? I have a feeling I'll be getting an epidural or begging for a c section which I would prefer not to have.
I'll try hard to keep updating more frequently. I was doing well for so long but these past few weeks have been really busy. Can't believe i'm nearly in the last trimester of my LAST pregnancy!!!!!!!
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