Grandpa babysitting

My dad phoned today. He wants to look after Lauren and offered to pay for us to go skiing today. Since it's March break this week we said we'd decided against skiing but will go to lunch and a movie. In all honesty....... I'd would love to go skiing but don't want my dad to look after her that long and us be that far away.

I thought I'd write this now instead of after it happens since I guess this worry is all part of being a parent. Here's the thing. I trust a stranger to look after Lauren more then my own father. Dan agrees with this statement and gave his input as to why. We trust a stranger to do as we ask a lot more then we trust my dad. He is spot on. I could go on and on with examples but I'll just leave it at this. Numerous times I've specifically asked him not to do something and he says ok or will try to argue with me that really it's ok if he does. Most of the time he will then try to do what I've asked him not to. I say try because he'll actually do this maybe 10 minutes after our initial conversation right in front of me and I'll stop him and tell him off and we'll argue again about why it's not a big deal if he does.

I do NOT care if YOU think something will be ok. I'M the PARENT, you are the GRANDPARENT. Please, please, PLEASE respect my decisions on how I want raise MY DAUGHTER!

One of the big issues we've been dealing with since Lauren was a few months old is food. I want to slowly introduce food to Lauren. I want to do so safely and within most guidelines. The reason for this is that Lauren seems to have many skin sensitivities and I fear this will also be the case with food. The past month Lauren has broken out in a rash from baby eczema cream and I recently bought a hazelwood necklace to try to help with the eczema but it only lasted a few hours before she had a reaction to the clasp. Wether these guidelines actually effect allergies or not I'm choosing to follow them on the chance they do. No harm will come from Lauren waiting until she's 9 months to have yogurt or a year to drink cow's milk. Lauren will be perfectly fine waiting a few days between new introductions of food. I just used examples of yogurt and milk, an example of what I'm talking about with my dad  would be how in October he tried to give her a piece of his cake. She wasn't even 3 months old and he tried to give her chocolate cake! This is what I'm up against.

My other stress with this is that he wants to have her for longer. He wants a whole day with her. I get that he loves her and wants to spend as much time as possible with her but he seems to want to go out and do things with her. I haven't asked details because I tried to brush it off but I think he expects me to leave him our car with the carseat and take his. WHY? Why can't he spend a few hours at our place with her? Want to go the park? It's only a 10 minute walk. Want to go to the mall or grocery store? It's a 10 minute walk. He thinks he's a great driver but in all honesty he's not. He's way too easily distracted and I can only imagine what he'd be like with Lauren in the car. His driving was part of the reason my sister and him didn't talk for a few years. They went on a road trip together, which was a terrible idea to begin with considering they hadn't spent more then 30 hours together since she was 5. From what my sister says most of the arguments were about his driving. He was playing with the gps or his laptop or radio more then paying attention to driving (also she says he wouldn't stop to see wildlife but that isn't an issue with me at the moment!) Dan and I have followed him before and the number of times he goes over into another lane is too often for me to feel any comfort having Lauren in the car with him. Also, Lauren doesn't enjoy being in the car. All she wants to do lately is stand. She hates sitting and being stuck in her seat and will protest at the sight of her jacket in my hand.

I really do love my dad and I really do want him to spend time with Lauren. I just wish I could trust his judgement and respect for our parenting more. We've decided to let him watch Lauren some days when I return to work. I've put a condition on this that the moment he suspects his wife is off her meds (she's a paranoid schizophrenic) she's no longer allowed around Lauren. Problem is we don't actually trust my dad's judgement on when she is off her meds. We suspected months before my Dad did the last time she was off her meds when Lauren was born but we figured we'd give it a try and the moment we fear for Lauren she and potentially he will no longer be allowed alone with her. I hate that I even have to worry about this but he's changed the past few years too. He's gone a little strange to the point where Dan and I joke that she's putting something in his food. I really hope he's ok. I worry about him too.

Ok rant over. Hopefully now that I've gotten it out I'll be able to get some sleep. An update from my last post about the weight loss........I've had a cold and haven't been feeling or sleeping well so I put the 30 day shred on hold after day 2 :) 155 just seems to be the weight I can stay at without having to diet or exercise and although it's not my ideal weight I am happy with it.