The 2 week wait

Well I guess I should start with how things are going. I said at the beginning of the month that we were going to not prevent but not "try" to conceive. I thought it would be easy but I can officially say it can't be done! At least not with us. I let Dan decide when we were going to have sex and oddly it happened to be every other day from day 10- 16 (when Lauren got sick.) It's strange because although I'll be ok if I'm not pregnant during the 2 week wait it's all I can think about. I'm expecting my period either Saturday or Sunday and I'm constantly symptom spotting, it's insane! Again, I think it comes down to my just wanting to know and not having control.

I went to the doctor on the 6th to discuss the abnormal periods I've had the past 2 months. I wasn't going to but then I randomly started producing colostrum again (after stopping breastfeeding 4 months ago) and wanted to make sure that this was normal. I guess I was worried that with my periods being off my hormones were out off as well. I told her how I'd though I was pregnant at the end of August because I was 4 days late, had cramping and my skin looked bad (all previous signs in past pregnancies) but I was going to wait until I was a week late to test because they were always negative with Lauren's pregnancy and had to be be confirmed with a HCG test. Then after being 4 days late I got my period and just assumed I was wrong and read too much into the symptoms, but day 4 of that cycle I started passing clots. I think my instincts were correct and I had miscarried. Then my next cycle at the end of October was 1 day early (no big deal) but again on day 4 I started passing clots again. I should specify, these are not little clots and I know they can be common but the only time I've ever passed clots that big was when I had my miscarriage between Hailey and Lauren.

She told me that although it could just be that my period has changed after having a baby it did sound like I'd had a miscarriage and she was going to do a urine preg test just to make sure it came back negative. She also gave me a requisition for a HCG test and told me next time I'm late not to wait and go in for the blood test instead. The urine came back negative, as I was expecting.

Now onto what's been going on the past couple days. I did my half marathon Sunday! Unfortunately I got a sinus cold Saturday (of course). I'm still proud of myself though. I set 3 goals in the order of importance when I first decided I was going to do this.
1- Do a half marathon
2- Do it without walking/stopping
3- Do it under 2.5 hours

I'm proud to say I accomplished all of those goals. It was really hard and I had to dig deep to do it. It was also really close because my time was 2:28. While I'm happy with this I am a little disappointed. The last time I ran was 2 weeks ago and I did 19K (half marathon is 21.1) in 2:03:28 so I was expecting to do much better then I did. I just have to remind myself I wasn't feeling very good and I'm happy I did it.

Being sick while TTC brings up some issues. I didn't take anything for my cold but the past couple days it's been lingering in my sinus. Yesterday I could barely hear because my ears were so blocked and there was a constant ringing but I just hate the thought of taking something while unknowingly being pregnant. I think about how I felt finding out about Hailey's HLHS and how I can say with 100% certainty there is nothing I could've done differently. I don't know how I'd feel if I had taken something but it was getting really bad last night and the with the constant sinus headache I knew I'd have to take something. Dan and I had a discussion and we decided that this morning I was going to take an early urine pregnancy test just incase by some luck it came up positive 3-4 days before missed period. If it didn't then I'd feel comfortable taking an over the counter sinus medication (Dan suggested one with pseudoephedrine). Of course the test was negative this morning and I'm so happy I've only needed 1 so far. My sinus is still a little blocked but more than tolerable.

I'll update on either day 1 or HCG results next week. If I'm late I'm planning on taking a morning urine test monday and then the HCG Tuesday. I guess we can officially change my mind set from not preventing to TTC.